Family

10/14/2022

Every Sukkot from the time our daughter Meredith married her Canadian husband Jonathan, we have spent this chag with them and her 4 boys.

The Levy’s stayed in Montreal for Meredith’s medical school at McGill, internship and until opportunity and more of what they needed beckoned them to Toronto.

We preferred Montreal; not for the cosmopolitan flavor, wonderful baked goods and beautiful scenery, but rather for the relatively short 7 hour commute by car.

On a good day, it’s an 11 plus boring ride to Toronto.

Montreal also presented the opportunity for unplanned and spontaneous trips. We would wake up really early on any given Friday morning, hop into the car and get to spend a shabbos with our Canadian grandchildren, 3 precocious and adorable boys, Judah, Elisha and Ezra.

The youngest, Noam, was born in Toronto.

When the family moved to Toronto, we drove for planned and Chag trips until we realized that we were spending as much time in the car as we did visiting with the kids. The trip to Toronto, while always wonderful, was filled with discomfort over the length of the trip, grief at the long border control lines and the serendipitous and sometimes hazardous weather.

We now fly.

Since COVID and even before, air travel has not been fun. We got smart about 10 years ago and registered for Global Entry; it is a game changer and there are some luxuries that are worth every single dollar. Registration is about 100 dollars for 5 years and now you can even sign up online. Unless you have something terrible to hide, it’s a simple worthwhile process.

There are special Global Entry lines and rules for the anointed and you smile the whole time that you whiz by customs or security.

Nevertheless, getting to the airport, depending on how far away you live from one(Do people ever factor proximity to the airport into their planning when they purchase a house?),finding a spot near any kind of curb to disembark, locating an available wagon for luggage(In Canada it’s free but not in Israel where it used to be free but no more.),getting on the right line in the correct area designated for your airline, fighting with the “easy to use” check in machine(very little human interaction), calling someone official to help you because the machine spit out and rejected your request, looking again for a different someone to help you, finally checking in, hoping your bags are not overweight, locating the right machine to take your luggage, getting rejected again because you mistakenly put two bags on at the same time even though the machine did indicate for you to do just that; one more time to look for help.

When the help shows up, she does not know what to do and is also juggling three other people with similar problems. You now stand confused as to what to do when someone who actually knows what he is doing comes to help you, he is a mechanic and explains that the machines are afraid of him.

And, you are off, actuality, no!

Even though you think you have completed everything you were supposed to do to get to the gate, there is still one more step to take. After all, you are flying internationally and even though you speak the same language as Canadians, it stops there. Canadians have a different way of saying things, funny money(loonies and toonies) and crazy customs. People are actually polite, nice and often helpful.

You now need to take all of your papers and with your passport, go through “Passport Control”.

Of course the agent at the window is a Yankee fan, the Deutsch family is not. He asks where you live, you respond with how much you hate the Yankees and are not planning to watch the game. You miss seeing that the agent has a Yankee shirt under his jacket and had surmised that as you are a New Yorker you had to be a fan.

Oh well, he was still very nice.

The agent asks you if you are bringing any food, drugs or alcohol, and you smartly offer that you have some All Dressed Chips, a Deutsch family favorite. You don’t share that you have 20 bags of the delicacy (hence the reason for duffels and a need for prayer that they won’t get crushed).

All Dressed Chips can be found across the border or on Amazon at a cost of 35 dollars for 3 bags.

Many have been driven to Canada or are willing to pay an exorbitant price.

Finally, you are at the gate; a tiny waiting area with room for seating for not enough cranky people standing and impatiently shuffling. Because everyone is warned that you have to get to the airport three hours prior to a flight in order to ensure that you will be allowed to board before they close the gate, there are too many people in the designated area waiting to board.

We once waited hours on the security line and had to run in our socks holding our shoes, in the days before Global Entry, to make it in time for our flight.

And while I am caught up in complaining, I must point out that there are still outdated conflicting signs, leftover from COVID, reminding everyone to show COVID documents(don’t need anymore), mask(only if it makes you comfortable and warnings about criticizing people who choose to mask)and to keep at a safe distance.

You now get to wait again and this is when you notice that the arrow with your boarding gate points downward to a staircase. Because you had Global Entry, checked in the night before online and came to the airport near dawn for an 11:00 am flight, you have plenty of time to collect your belongings and race to the right waiting place which turns out to have numerous flights leaving from that spot; it’s packed.

The airplane has arrived but there is another plane in the spot your plane needs to be able to successfully board your flight. The airplane is a small engine tin can that boards through a creaky, swaying in the wind flight of treacherous stairs.

There is more but I think that you get the picture.

The whole flight takes about an hour; the prep and flight from departure to home is about 7 hours. That is if all goes smoothly.

When I was about to land, I began to wonder if our luggage made it too.

It did, and all the chips, save for one bag which exploded quietly, arrived intact.

I strongly believe that it is worth every single penny and any time spent to be able to spend time with loved ones during a holiday. When children leave the nest and decide their own life’s journey, you have done a good job if they are comfortable to leave the family home and adventure on their own. With technology and determination, it is easier to be connected. It is not easy to maintain long distance closeness unless you spend time with them in person for your hug.

If COVID taught us anything, it taught us that.

In order to be with beloved family and friends , you may have to drive and or fly distances; whatever it takes you do.

How else could we play our marathon games of Monopoly? I show the most enthusiasm while my husband Bob has the least. We count it as a win when he loses but has some money. We have special chants and whoops that we have developed to play the game.

How would we know that a 5 year old kid, Noam, could be the banker and keep the players honest? He is becoming a bar mitzvah in early December and is still awesome with numbers. During COVID, he broke down his family’s electric use while reviewing a bill to ward off Zoom boredom.

We always walk to Zach’s for homemade ice cream, go to the mall to buy Roots or Grandma’s favorite shoe brand; both only available in Canada.

We also buy lots of All Dressed Chips.

How else would we be able to appreciate the warmth of a fall day unless you are leaving an icy cold arena, despite layers of yet another hockey game? Hockey is a national religion in Canada; we went to 3 games in three days; the Canadian kids and their parents went to 4.

Would we have preferred to have our kids live close by? Yes! Given our choices, we did the best we could to become and be an important part of our children and grandchildren's lives.

That’s why we know to take advantage of being together during the chaggim; Hashem has created these precious special days for his people to stop and smell the etrog!

Shabbat Shalom and a beautiful Chag Somaiach with people who care about you.