purim

03/11/2022

Daniella commented today that there were about 58 days left to the school year. I don’t know why this surprised me as Bob always says that after Thanksgiving, the year is basically over: Thanksgiving, Winter Break, Pesach, done! We find ourselves in crazy March, “comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.” We are in the lion stages and I look forward to the lamb. Next week is Purim, after two Adars, and here comes Pesach. And as Bob says, done! It’s been a roller coaster of a year and I’m not even sure that I can say that I have met my personal or professional goals. To keep myself relevant, I try to learn something new each year; sometimes I get there, sometimes I don’t. This year, presented with a whole new admin, it was simply to learn how to work as part of this new team. Success! I love my team and enjoy the work. All is not perfect; day in and day out, we plan and attempt to implement our ideas and initiatives. That’s fun! What’s not so much fun, no fun at all, is dealing with the same handful of kids every single day. All day long, we put out fires. And as a crop of complicated students move onto middle school, there always seems to be a whole new group testing our resources. As teachers, the complicated student spends a year at most in your classroom before moving on. As administrators, we track the child year after year from grade to grade, from class to class. We have the joy of seeing their growth and progress. But what happens if that does not happen? What do you do when the same story becomes an old story and progress does not seem to be made? What happens when you feel like you have done all that you can do and you are no longer sure that there is any more that you will be able or want to do? And as a top off, the parents are not on board. Do you give up? When I first chose to be a teacher, I thought that I could make a difference in every single child in my class. I soon found out that that would not happen. I loved my years as a middle school teacher. Those bumpy years when a child’s mind and body are not aligned. I loved the long conversations and the quirky evolving personalities. I particularly enjoyed their youthful exuberance and most of all their ability to express their concerns. It does not work that way in elementary school. While the kids are mostly adorable, they are rarely able to clearly articulate what’s really bothering them or why they do what they do. I find that to be so very frustrating. These last few weeks I have had to dig deep to find the compassion that once defined me. In conversations with some heavy hitter m first graders, we had to compose ourselves when a young man justified pulling the hard on the neck of a close friend because he teased him by calling him a name, “George Washington”. His reaction resulted in him getting a closed fist punch in the face. I had to scrape the laughing Michal off the floor. I told her, “this is what being a principal is all about, this is your future.” Or the day I explained to a young man that I would be throwing out all of his books if he ever threw a desk across the room again. Is this really what I signed up for? Am I really counting down to June? It’s no secret that I am almost at the end of a rewarding and joyful career. Yes, I will be back next year and maybe even one more. I want these years to be satisfying and productive. Engaging in daily firefighting over petty disputes or spending time repeatedly explaining why it’s important to respect each other or follow school rules, was not a part of my exit plan. I need a moment to figure it out. It did not help that this week we have two Covid cases that have emerged; there are masks in the building again. This too will pass; I’m counting on it. Next week is going to be awesome, it’s Purim and I have my costume. I am not a fan of costumes though I do like to dress up daily. I love the sound of dancing, singing and the pure laughter of children. Purim is a roller coaster; a holiday of fun that begins with a fast day, Taanit Esther. It’s a good metaphor for the year; first we fast and then we party. It’s time to party! ReplyForward