it started with ducks

05/27/2022

It all started with Ducks? Is there anything that a parent won’t do for their child? I’ve often heard parents say “I would cut off a limb to help my child.” I get that, but raising ducks? I’m not so sure about that. Once a year, every school age child comes home with the assignment that asks them to create a project for the school's annual science fair. When a parent looks at the assignment, he or she automatically feels a stomach drop because you immediately know that this project will involve your input and labor for it to succeed. Will this be the time you call in the big guns, grandparents? You take that list and carefully review your options; what is the work that will need to be done by you? How much will it cost? Will you survive the drama getting it done entails? You take a deep breath and with a composed and encouraging face, you ask your child what he or she wants to present at the fair. You put on your sweetest beguiling smile and you wait for the shoe to drop. “ I want to raise ducks?” You know in your heart that you love your child beyond all measure and because she has been having a bit of a rough ride of late, you say through clenched teeth, “Of course, that sounds amazing, let’s review the assignment and figure out what we need to do!” Really??? This happens to be what took place between. Rabbi Hazan, his wife Gabe, and his middle school daughter. Coco has a natural affinity for all animals; when she got the assignment, different suggestions were discussed one night during a family dinner. Rabbi Hazan told me, “Coco asked us if we would ever consider raising ducks. Her mother, Gabe, a super mom, had raised chicks as a child and so a plan was hatched .” Rabbi Hazan shared his healthy skepticism about the whole idea with me. He was worried about what would happen if the ducks didn’t “hatch”. And once they hatched, would they survive? I did not get a feeling from the Rabbi that the family had a Plan B for that or even a Plan C if the hatching was successful. “Oh thee of little faith”; a plan was put into motion. The ducks arrived from a specialty farm in California on April 7th; ducks need to be incubated for 26-28 days with daily attention, temperature and humidity (in the form of sprays of water) controls and most important of all, to be rotated. Ducks cannot be left in a corner with hopes for the best. Luckily for duck farmers, there happens to be an automated system that will rotate the eggs on a regular schedule. For the sake of the experiment, Coco hypothesized that hand rotation would better replicate what a mother duck would do for her ducklings. Coco posited that hand rotation would yield healthier and more viable ducks. Coco was right!! Eleven eggs and two incubators arrived; they were divided into five eggs for Coco and six eggs for Shirele, her team partner. Three of the eggs were lost in both incubators; three of Coco’s eggs hatched healthy ducks. Three of Shirele’s eggs produced two runts; all the newborns needed intervention in order to survive. Rabbi Hazan, “The night they hatched felt like our living room turned into a maternity ward and our guest bathroom turned into a NICU. The bathroom needed to be hot and humid so we turned our shower on to the hottest setting. My incredible wife started the heavy lifting required to help the ducklings survive the shell emergence. As each duckling made it out of their delicate shells, we celebrated the miracle.” Rabbi H told us that the family experience, captained by Gabe, of witnessing the duck’s coming out made all of the mess and hard work worthwhile. Seeing something this awesome first hand revealed to all in attendance the hand of Hashem. The growing ducks now live in a mesh cage, similar to a giant laundry hamper, in the middle of the Hazan living room. They also get a lot of outdoor time hanging around in their blue plastic CVS pool in the family backyard. One thing I have learned about living things, they grow and grow and grow and start to smell. Oftentimes, what was once cute and cuddly does not always stay that way. Where do “homegrown science experiment ducks” go to live out their lives comfortably? Well nowhere really; it seems that no shelter or person wants ducks. The Hazan family has been reaching out to all kinds of shelters hearing”NOs” and fielding a lot of recrimination. “Oh, are you another one of those people who thinks that raising ducks is a cute hobby? Well, it’s not.” Finally, a duck rescue farm, with a nasty owner, agreed to take the ducks if the Hazan family pledged NEVER to even think about doing it ever again! The Hazans promised, even wrote a letter of intent explaining that they understand that raising ducks at home should never be undertaken. At this time, they are still waiting to hear back about when they will be picked up. If anyone is interested, the sort of cute ducks are available for school visits. They are trying to earn their keep and stay afloat living in the Hazan house. We will keep you posted. Big News Flash: Coco and Shirele won first place in the Yeshiva League Science Fair, besting 52 schools to win the prize. And that's not all, Cameron, their friend and fellow 7th grader at HANC, secured 2nd place!! Wow!!! Mazal Tov Coco and Shirele, Mazal Tov HANC. A question to ponder, how far should a parent go to help their child? When they know it might take more than they are willing or even able to do, should they still press forward? Given the huge win, this story might lead one to say, “ do whatever and anything it takes.” By working backwards from that win outcome, one would suppose that all the effort, tears, hard work and cost, makes it a no brainer. I’m not so sure I agree with myself; I need time to think more about it. What tugs at me is the downside; what if the ducks had died or a permanent duck pond home can’t be found? Let’s take it up a notch; this year, somehow more than ever before, I find that parents of kids who are particularly challenged, won’t let go of every and all actions to defend them. They do so in the guise of “protecting their ducks'' no matter the real story or the consequences behind their children's behavior. I don’t know why (maybe I have more to think about this) I let parents who push back and beat us up when I or someone in my position tries to help them “parent” responsibly. These conversations don’t always go well. I don’t know why I let it bother me, it just does. I should be more like a duck and let the frustrations and hurtful comments just roll off my back. I’m working on it. Mazal Tov Coco, Shirele and Cameron, a win is a win and you make us proud. Shabbat Shalom. Let us take a moment this Shabbat to remember the children in Texas, the Uvaldi 21: may this horrific loss serve as the incentive needed to stop the selling of guns in America once and for all. ReplyForward